A Christmas Story

This week I have decided to write a short RuneScape-themed holiday-themed narrative.  Please enjoy!

You never believed in Santa, did you?

But that was...before.  It was before the year you discovered the computer game RuneScape.  It was before you spent nights routinely huddled in front of your computer screen in a quest to gain experience and levels.  It was before you decided to spend your entire allowance on a game to buy membership because it was entirely that amazing.  It was before you dreamed of such a powerful desire that certainly only Santa could fulfill.  Yes, this year was certainly different.

You knew you were too big for Santa's lap, but that had not deterred you from writing him a letter anyway, in which you apologized for not believing and asked for your Christmas gift: to become the ultimate RuneScape player.  And although you had planned on staying awake all night to greet Santa yourself, it was nearly midnight and your eyes drooped with sleep.  Your chest began to fall forward, and you feel asleep so quickly that you didn't feel your face strike the keyboard in front of you.

Without even realizing that you had fallen asleep, you jerked violently awake.  Indeed, the computer was still turned on and the RuneScape game screen illuminated your room.  Squinting from the sudden exposure to bright light, you wondered where all the jibberish typed in the username box came from.  Thinking nothing of it, you erased it and entered your login credentials as usual and notice two unread messages that greet you.  With your heart pounding you click the hyperlink to your message inbox, but it fails to load.  Returning to RuneScape, you see the connection has been lost and you are soon back to the login screen.

Paniced, you enter your login information but the connection to the login server cannot be established.  You attempt to load a different page but nothing will load.  You lift up your computer to fling it out the window but something stops you-you see that the wireless internet switch was off.  Panting heavily, you turn it back on and navigate to your message center and cannot believe your eyes.  The first message informs you that you have been granted player and forum moderator privileges, and the second is a personal note of congratulations on achieving the maximum experience possible in every skill.  Returning to RuneScape you gasp in shock as hovering over your skills yields the total of 200,000,000 xp for each one.  You type in your bank PIN to find a brimming money pouch, multiple partyhats, masks, spirits shields, chaotic weapons, edible rares, and a complete set of holiday items, even the yoyo that you tragically missed.  And you realize something else has also changed: your username is "The_Ultimate" instead of your previous one.

 "It's all very strange," you think, not realizing things are about to become even more so.  People begin to follow you-everyone in sight on the game and will not leave.  Incessantly you are peppered with requests for money, your training methods, and and assault of spam that begins to lag your computer.  You turn on your private chat and realize none of your familiar friends remain on the list.  Instantly a raging flood of messages conquers your chat window.  You quickly turn off all your chats and recognize playing is impossible due to the onslaught of followers.   You quickly switch to a nearly vacant world, but have less than a minute of silence before your frenzied followers are on your tail again.  Pop-up ads begin to appear faster than you can close them.

You feel something cold touching the back of your neck and your hand snaps back to brush it away.  But before you can attempt it, you feel a sharp pain searing down your neck, and everything blends into darkness.

Slowly the world emerges, and you realize you had been asleep the entire time.  Although it was all a dream, the pain literally in your neck could not be more real.  Slowly you understand what must have happened-the chair tipped backwards and hit the ground.  Groaning slightly with the pain, you log back onto RuneScape on your awaiting computer.  But instead of the familiar lobby screen, you are greeted by a message informing you that you have been chosen for dual player and forum moderator privileges, inspiring a horrible sense of deja vu.  And at the bottom, it informs you that you will also be granted the maximum experience in all skills.

Your hands tremble and heart pounds, almost threatening to break free.  There are options to accept or decline, and your mouse cursor is between them.  You attempt to move the mouse, but your hand refuses to obey your brain and does not move.  You try to strike the keyboard with your other hand, but it is equally unresponsive.  You have an idea to turn off the power switch which is somewhere by your feet, but in horror you realize they are also paralyzed.

Completely unexpectedly, something taps you on the shoulder, but not menacingly-it is a soft, gentle pat.  With a complete sense of calm you find yourself able to move and whip around.  Your mouth hangs open at the incredible sight.

"Merry Christmas," says Santa, and winks before disappearing into the night.